Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Concerning the beauty of things is the definition of Aesthetic or at least one of them. I had to look it up to get a better understanding of what I was going to talk about. Honestly I’m still not sure.

And then I remember the numberous things AJ follows on twitter and remembered that in the Shadowhunter world a great deal of ‘fanart’ is aesthetics – or a bunch of pictures that represent a character or an idea. A story board.

AJ has a Pintrest board for me. It’s mostly my personality, and my belongings, but it’s the beginnings of a piece of art. So I’ll be back in a bit to show you what I’ve come up.

  • goes to search for images *




This sparked images of weddings and since I’m not exactly the typical type guy with typical partners I don’t envision a wedding is in my future. A permanent partner yeah, but I don’t see the whole white wedding and walking down the aisle type thing going on. I’m not inclined to marry a woman…

I want kids. I want a family. I want a loving mate, but I’m fairly sure I won’t find what I want truly in a woman. I could be wrong, but I don’t think so considering women lack a certain body part I happen to really like. But sex isn’t all that it is.

I’ll be honest with you, since it’s one of the things I try to be with myself – self therapy I guess. I want someone to take care of me. Most of my life I’ve taken care of myself, control every aspect of my life just to get by on a day to day basis. Becoming an adult was probably the hardest thing I’ve done. I’ve never truly lived on my own. The Venatori pay my bills, they provide me amble opportunity to eat down in the cafeteria in the AU building. I mean, my father, doesn’t know how to cook. Most Venatori don’t. I taught myself so I could feed myself food I knew where it came from. Control…

I don’t want someone to run my life. But someone to make some of the decisions and relieve me of the pressure of doing it myself. I’m not saying women are weak and can’t do that. But the women I’ve been with have all struck me as wanting their men to take care of them. It’s all part of their make up. How they are wired. Not judging. Not being stereotypical either. I know strong women who would give me a beat down for suggesting such a thing. Both Dae’lin and Mia would have my hide if I ever called them weak. But they aren’t in my dating pool. Neither am I attracted to them in that way.

It truly is not hard to look past the fact that I like women and say I’m mostly homosexual. I fall heavily to that side on the Kinsey scale in terms of the relationship that would suit me best. My sexual experience falls heavily on the other side. 80% of my affairs have been with women.

Funny how this turned into yet another typical post…


Family Life – Rituals

We took the subway to Brooklyn. Jason had gone to school with me since we were five years old, but his family was old school Southern. They owned a piece of land down home that provided fresh food to the Apex Unlimited compound and their other subsidiary businesses. They weren’t farmers who struggled – they were rich and well off and they had a large family and tons of employees.

He went home every holiday we had off and he drug me with him occasionally. The first time he’d asked me, we weren’t even friends – his parents made him.
Continue reading “Family Life – Rituals”


Back to normal. Though AJ’s computer is still without a charger which means less time for me * le sigh * But it’s not a big deal, since work is top of AJ’s list. So on to me rambling…

I’ve never run a marathon. I don’t precisely marathon shows either. I do have a Netflix account where I watch things but I don’t watch much. There just isn’t enough time in the day.

Could I do these things? Probably. I definitely could run a marathon if I tried. I would need to run a bit more than the few miles I run everyday, but I could if I wanted to. My job doesn’t require marathon running – more like sprinting and chasing, but usually not running for really long distances. Parkour would be more the right thing to do – and I have in the past.

If I found myself bored and without any work I could marathon some show or another but I could do a lot of other things too – like cook for 5 hours so I don’t have to cook for the rest of the week. It’s all doable – it’s a matter of priorities.



Why do all this prompts always put into the same realm of thinking. It’s a struggle to go beyond the same rants and things I typically go on about. So instead I’ll touch upon my knowledge of my race, and those in my world – a little lecture so to speak on what each race is capable of.

There are several different races, species, or whatever you want to call them. Let’s start at the beginning and move our way down the chain of origins.

In the beginning the creator created 4 races – Humans, Dragons, Primeval Vampires and Aeternus.
Continue reading “Capable”

Aspect – Mysterious Blue-Eyed Boy

I made my way to the bar on the other side of the room. I would not get drunk, but I wanted a beer none-the-less. However, I never made it across the room before a hand was grabbing my arm and pulling me into the hallway that lead to the bathrooms. “Whoa, whoa, I don’t even know you.”

The small blonde looked up at me with a frown of disgust etched into her face. “What?” She looked down the hall to the line of women coming out of one door and paled. I laughed. She spluttered, “No. Not.” She stamped her foot into the ground and glared up at me with green eyes that were neither pretty nor one of those disgusting colors; they were just green. She could use a little makeup if you asked me.

There must have been a smirk on my face. “Wipe that smile off your face. This isn’t a game, Nox.”
Continue reading “Aspect – Mysterious Blue-Eyed Boy”


This prompt invokes images of the Wizard of Oz and Somewhere over the rainbow for some reason. Might possibly have to do with AJ watching Emerald City on TV. Now I’ve gotten side tracked with what AJ’s making me watch… Though I will say this at least it’s all things I would watch if I watched TV myself – the whole monster hunting, paranormal, post-apocalypse stuff. Right now Shadowhunters, Emerald City, Supernatural and currently The Magicians are right up there. AJ watches other things, but these ones I like. The whole superhero thing would be Sage’s thing.

Who’s Sage? Well that’s where the someday comes in. Someday you will get to meet him. However, I did actually already share about him. I’m hoping to push my story forward to where I can freely talk about Sage and be in the here and now where right now I’m fighting myself to be pre “The Last Phoenix”. A lot happens in the story AJ is showing off so why not read the first scene. Tomorrow #2 will come out.

I suppose my picture represents a little more too now that I think about it. So to recap someday soon I’ll be more me than I am right now? Someday soon I’ll be where I feel I am because of The Last Phoenix.



When I was five I had one stuffed toy I truly adored. I’d had it for a while – a gift from my Nanny on my third birthday. Back then I had a big fascination with dragons – both real and imagined. Mulan was my favorite movie because of Mushu the dragon back then. His go gettem attitude was something that I still admire today. For most of the movie he remained positive – but everyone has their set backs, and when it came down to it he was still a true friend.

I clung to Mushu on the most devastating day of my life – the day we all found out I was Magnus – not that it should have surprised anyone. The probabilities of my birth guaranteed I would be Magnus. My mother hated me from that moment forward. Mushu got me through the thick of it. Until my little stuffed dragon burnt in a fire I started while trying to save him from my bully of a roommate.

Mushu was never replace – I was an ward of the community. I was only given necessities – and a comfort object was not viewed as a necessity. So I learned to use other things to cope and comfort. Eventually, after I found the carnal pleasure of flesh it was the only comfort I took in others. And a tool I used to insure people didn’t get close to me. A lonely life but it was how I coped with rejection and abandonment. I’m getting better – but I still have a long ways to go.


Continue reading “Cling”